Listening to the Whole Self

For most of my life, my brain was the loudest voice and the primary driver.

It was a sharp tool — the one that built my career in tech, carried me through C-level roles, international moves, young motherhood, ambitious art projects, and the endless puzzle of building a life that didn’t have a map.

My brain spoke in strategies, logic, timelines, and structured reasoning.

And I was rewarded for it — which made that voice even louder.

But underneath that loud, brilliant voice were quieter ones I didn’t yet know how to hear: my heart, my gut, and the subtle energy of my whole body whispering truths long before my mind could catch up.

When My Body Knew Before I Did

Looking back, the signals were always there.

My brain would say:

• “This job makes sense.”
• “This city is safer.”
• “You should stay.”
• “You should be grateful.”

And yet:

• My chest tightened before certain meetings.
• My stomach felt bloated when I imagined certain futures.
• My energy collapsed when I rationalized a path that looked good on paper but felt wrong in my bones.
• My breath went shallow every time I pretended I was fine.

I didn’t have the language for it back then.

I just knew something was off.

A Reminder from My Coach

My coach was the first person who reinforced this:

Stop listening only to your brain.

Start listening to the rest of you.

She asked questions that cut straight through the noise:

• “What would your heart say about this?”
• “What happens in your gut when you imagine that decision?”
• “What does your body know that your mind hasn’t admitted yet?”

At first, I didn’t know how to answer — I wasn’t trained to catch these sensations.

My brain always had answers ready: polished, articulate, convincing.

But my heart and gut?

They spoke in sensations, images, temperature, vibration, contraction, expansion.

And once I started paying attention, I couldn’t un-hear them.

I became the one asking them to speak up.

That was the beginning of a different kind of self-leadership.

Knowing from My Whole Body

We are taught to live from the neck up.

To think, reason, analyze, optimize.

But we are not meant to make decisions from the head alone.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. The Brain — Cognitive Knowing

The brain is brilliant at structure — understanding facts, predicting outcomes, assessing risks, planning next steps.

But it can also be:

• the home of saboteurs (inner critics),
• fear-based narratives,
• inherited expectations,
• patterned thinking that sounds like truth.

The brain is useful — but incomplete.

2. The Heart — Emotional & Values-Based Knowing

Your heart reveals what matters — what expands you, softens you, anchors you in meaning.

It speaks in waves:

• longing
• desire
• tenderness
• contraction
• resonance

The heart doesn’t explain.

It reveals.

3. The Gut — Intuitive & Instinctive Knowing

The gut is primal and fast.

It reacts before language arrives.

It tells you:

• safe / unsafe
• lean in / pull back
• yes / no

This is neurobiology, not mysticism:

Your enteric system has more than 100 million neurons responding before your prefrontal cortex even begins to reason.

Beyond the Three: Whole-Body Energy as Compass

Your entire body is an instrument.

It contracts, expands, heats, softens, tightens, lifts, sinks.

It carries rich data.

When I stopped letting my brain dominate the conversation, I began noticing:

• my shoulders dropped when something was right
• my breath opened when I spoke the truth
• my belly twisted when a path wasn’t aligned
• my energy lifted in the presence of resonance

Suddenly, big decisions felt aligned with my whole self — no longer negotiated in my head alone.

What Misalignment Feels Like

You’re forcing.

You’re justifying.

You’re explaining to yourself why something should be fine.

Your energy drains.

Your body tightens.

Your intuition goes quiet.

Your brain is pushing.

Your body is resisting.

That is misalignment.

What Alignment Feels Like

You breathe deeper.

Your chest opens.

Your body softens.

Your mind quiets.

Your intuition clicks.

Your energy rises.

It feels like exhaling into a path that was waiting for you.

That is coherence — when brain, heart, gut, and body speak the same truth.

Check-In Practice

Here’s the simple, powerful practice I bring into coaching and into my own life:

1. Ask your Brain:

What do I know?

What’s true?

What are the facts?

What is fear pretending is fact?

2. Ask your Heart:

What do I care about here?

What matters?

What feels meaningful?

Where do I feel open or closed?

3. Ask your Gut:

What do I sense?

Lean in or pull back?

Yes or no?

Expanding or contracting?

4. Ask your Body:

What is my energy doing?

Softening or tightening?

Rising or dropping?

Alive or drained?

Write down the answers without editing.

The wisdom comes from noticing — not thinking.

A Moment of Turning

When I look back at every major pivot in my life —

• leaving an in-office job,
• becoming a global nomadic artist,
• building platforms as a solopreneur,
• stepping into coaching fully —

the pattern is unmistakable:

My brain would hesitate.

My heart would lean in.

My gut would say yes.

My body would exhale.

Every breakthrough came from listening to all of me —

not just the part that sounded smart on paper.

A Reflection for You

Maybe you’ve been living from your brain too — thinking harder, pushing more, trying to calculate your way into clarity.

But clarity doesn’t come from pressure.

It comes from coherence.

👉 Which part of you have you been ignoring — your heart, your gut, your body’s wisdom?

👉 What decision in your life needs all three intelligences present?

👉 What shifts when you listen to your whole self, not just your mind?

If you’re standing at a threshold — feeling something quietly wanting to move — I’d love to explore it with you.

Coaching begins with a simple chemistry call:

a conversation to listen together to what your whole self is already whispering.

— Jay