Catching the Voices That Aren’t Me

This is a reflection on learning to recognize the voices in my head — and reclaiming the wiser one within. I’m sharing how Positive Intelligence (PQ) helped me shift my inner narrative, and how I now use it to support others navigating doubt, burnout, or big transitions.

Not Every Voice in Your Head Is You

Some voices in my head used to feel like truth.

“You haven’t done enough — don’t relax yet.”

“This isn’t it. There’s got to be something better.”

“Letting go is weak. Stay on top of everything.”

For a long time, I believed those voices were me.

But over time, I came to see them for what they really were:

Saboteurs — clever, familiar inner critics that hijack clarity, joy, and confidence.

How It Started

In 2022, my coach introduced me to Positive Intelligence (PQ) — a simple but powerful framework that helps you:

• Notice the inner voices that fuel stress, fear, or self-doubt
• Grow the calmer, wiser part of your mind — what PQ calls the Sage

At the time, I was just beginning my own coaching journey. Still the language and tools of PQ stayed with me.

Fast forward to 2025: I now bring these tools into my coaching practice. Because I’ve lived them.

And they changed how I live, lead, and listen to myself.

Catching My Saboteurs

Back in 2022, my top saboteurs were Hyper-Achiever, Restless, and Controller.

They sounded like this:

Hyper-Achiever: “Your worth depends on your next accomplishment. Keep performing, or fall behind.”

Restless: “This isn’t exciting anymore. What’s next? There must be something better.”

Controller: “If you want it done right, do it yourself. You’d better take over.”

They were relentless — driving me to overwork, overachieve, and constantly chase the next thing.

I had listened to these voices for so long, I didn’t realize they weren’t actually me.

They weren’t me. They were patterns. Coping strategies. Saboteurs.

The Practice, Committed

In 2025, I retook the Saboteur Assessment. This time, not just as a client but as a coach myself.

Restless and Controller were still there, even louder. But this time, Victim had joined the mix.

Victim: “No one sees how hard this is for you. Maybe no one ever will.”

This time, I didn’t just notice. I committed.

• I practiced mental fitness using the PQ app — small daily exercises (called “PQ reps”) that strengthen your Sage voice and calm your saboteurs.
• I named the voices when they showed up.
• And I joined a small peer group — three coaches meeting every Tuesday morning to reflect, share, and support one another.

Growth isn’t solo work.

And in that shared space, something began to soften.

The inner critics (saboteurs) got quieter.

My Sage voice — the grounded, calm, creative part of me — got stronger.

What I Now Bring Into Coaching

I now introduce PQ tools to people who are:

• Stuck in overthinking or indecision
• Burned out from perfectionism or people-pleasing
• Navigating identity shifts or creative transitions
• Wrestling with conflicting inner voices

I tailor these tools based on each person’s needs.

• Some do the full 6-week PQ program.
• Some begin with a single Saboteur Discovery Session.
• Others simply explore bite-sized practices inside ongoing coaching.

But always, we come back to one question:

“Whose voice is this — and is it serving you?”

From Me to You

I’m continuing to deepen this work as I grow as a coach.

If you’re curious about your own saboteurs — or want to explore what your Sage voice might sound like — I’d love to hear from you.

Mental fitness changed how I show up in the world.

And now, it’s a joy to offer that same space for others.

With warmth,

Jay